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In my head, I’m scripting this—me, her, a limo, and I’m yelling, “We are such stuff as dreams are made of!” Straight from the movie, obvi. I’m extra af, exaggerating it, like, “I’m a prosti whisperer now!” But real talk, it’s tricky—u gotta be safe, smart, not dumb. I’m, like, “Kim, don’t trip,” but I’m also vibing, ‘cause it’s raw. Finding a prostitute? It’s messy, it’s real, it’s, like, literally a trip!

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But wait, there’s more! I’m mixing the batter, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and there’s a scooter on the ground. Some tourist just wiped out! I’m like, “Welcome to Felidhoo, buddy!” He’s okay, just a bit embarrassed. I help him up, and he’s like, “Is this the best island ever?” I’m like, “You bet! But watch out for the scooters!”

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