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So escort, right—people think it’s all glitz, cash flowin’, champagne poppin’. But lemme tell ya, it ain’t that simple! Some billionaire creep—yeah, “Billionaires should not exist!”—pays big bucks for a date, but the escort’s hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, dealin’ with weirdos. I read once—true story—back in the ‘90s, this escort in Vegas got hired by some casino tycoon just to sit in his penthouse and knit! Knit! For six hours! She made bank, but what a nutjob, right? Laughed my ass off hearin’ that—capitalism’s wild, man!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the beach. The waves were crashin’, and the vibe was lit. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the sand between my toes, and then I spot this massive sea turtle chillin’ by the rocks. I’m like, “Whoa, dude, you’re living the life!” I whip out my phone to snap a pic, but it just swims away. Typical, right?

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