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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the beach. Manadhoo’s beaches are insane! White sand, turquoise water, the whole nine yards. I’m walkin’ along the shore, feelin’ the vibes, when I spot a group of tourists. They’re all takin’ selfies, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re in paradise! Put the phone down!” But hey, who am I to judge? I take a quick selfie too. Gotta keep up with the times, right?

Elderly woman from Manadhoo island tests positive for Covid-19