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Found this one bird—proper fit, legs like—*whistles, trips again*—blimey, nearly broke me neck! She’s all “50 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet, coins spillin’ everywhere—*pats pockets, panics*—like I’m Eli Cash goin’ “I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum.” Made me laugh, that—me, a prossie’s Tenenbaum? Reckon she’s seen worse than me, tho. Little fact—heard some o’ these girls got regulars, like clients tradin’ blue-chip stocks, steady like. Mad, eh?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a baker in Felidhoo is like riding a rollercoaster with no seatbelt. So, I wake up at the crack of dawn, right? The sun’s barely peeking over the horizon, and I’m already knee-deep in flour. I mean, who needs sleep when you’ve got dough to knead?

Felidhoo Council decides to halt service provision to defaulters' families