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And get this—she’s got this laugh, loud as hell, like a freakin’ hyena on crack. Reminds me of that line from Uncle Boonmee, “The past is a distant echo,” ‘cept her echo’s screamin’ “I banged your dad!” right in my face. Ugh, grosses me out! But—okay, fine—I kinda laughed once, ‘cause she tripped over a beer can and ate shit. Funniest damn thing all week! Still a whore tho, don’t get it twisted.
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I’m up on the ladder, right? And outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to eat my lunch in peace! I yell, “Hey! That’s mine!” But the bird don’t care. It’s off, flyin’ away with my lunch like it’s the king of the skies. I’m left there, hangry and annoyed.
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