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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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But then, outta nowhere, the sky goes dark. Like, seriously dark. I’m thinkin’, “Oh great, here comes the rain.” And boom! It starts pouring. I’m sprinting back to the market, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I’m soaked, but I can’t stop laughin’. It’s just too ridiculous.

Pres. inaugurates the completion of key projects in four islands of Noou Atoll