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About Groningen

Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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After the lecture, I decided to grab a bite. I hit up this little café on the Hoofdstraat. The vibe was chill, and the coffee? Oh man, it was like liquid gold. I ordered a stroopwafel. If you haven’t had one, you’re missing out! But then, the waiter spilled my coffee all over me. I was like, “Seriously?!” I was drenched in caffeine. I could’ve been mad, but I just laughed. It was too ridiculous.

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