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Monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” We’re hagglin now—40 bucks, final offer. She rolls her eyes, “Fine, you cheap bastard.” Love that fire! Reminds me of Tony in *Brooklyn*, fightin for his girl. I’m no Tony, tho—more like a shadow, slippin thru cracks. She grabs my hand, leads me to this alley. Smells like wet trash, but I’m buzzin. “This is home,” she says, sarcastic as hell. Home! Cracked me up.

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Now I’m mad. I mean, who lets their dog run wild like that? I look around for the owner, and there’s this guy just laughing. I’m like, “Dude, your dog just ruined my day!” He shrugs and says, “Dogs will be dogs.” I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m not a dog!”

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