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I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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As I’m leavin’ the pub, I notice the sun settin’ over the Waal river. It’s beautiful, man. Like, the sky’s all orange and pink. I take a moment to breathe it in. But then, I hear this loud crash. Some guy on a bike just wiped out! I rush over, and he’s fine, just a bit embarrassed. I help him up, and he thanks me. I’m like, “No worries, bro. Just another day in Bemmel!”

Netherlands: Royal Berry acquires land for expansion outside Bemmel