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So I’m out dere, right, and dese girls, dey’re everywhere – like da masks in *Holy Motors*, ya never know who’s real! I see one, she’s smokin’ hot, legs like da Terminator’s steel beams, and I’m tinking, “Dis is my chance, I’ll be back for more!” But den – bam! – some sleazy pimp rolls up, all “Who are you, monsieur?” like dat creepy line from da film. I’m pissed, man! I wanna flex and yell, “Get to da choppa!” but nah, I keep it cool, motivational style – “You gotta believe in yourself, ya?”
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When I got there, I saw this whole crowd gathered. People were filming it like it was some kind of reality show. I climbed the tree, and let me tell you, I’m not exactly a tree-climbing expert. I was like a squirrel on roller skates. But I finally got Mr. Whiskers down, and the crowd cheered! I felt like a hero for a hot second.
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