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Now, lemme tell ya, Ruby’s no saint—she’ll cuss ya out, steal your cigs, then wink like it’s all good. Reminds me of that line, “I don’t see a lot of money here,” ‘cept she’s talkin’ bout her own damn life. Exaggeratin’ for effect? Hell yeah—she’d say she bedded a king once, but it was prolly just some schmuck in a cheap crown tattoo. Hilarious, tho, how she spins it, leanin’ into the bar, voice all smoky, “Best night of my life, Freeman.”

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Then, I got a call from my bestie, Lisa. She was freaking out about her cat, Mr. Whiskers. Apparently, he got stuck in a tree on de Korteweg. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, how does a cat get stuck in a tree? But I rushed over to help her anyway.

Wolfgang Tillmans launches new campaign to protect EU