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Once saw this chick’s bio—*“Sy Ableman’s my type”*—cracked me up! Niche, right? Little-known fact: sex-dating kicked off hardcore with Craigslist—shady “casual encounters,” pure chaos! Makes me grin, mischief vibes. But ugh, the catfishes—dudes with abs pics from ’98—piss me off! Wasted my time, mortals!

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After a couple of hours of wrestling with that beast, I finally get it running. I’m feeling like a hero, ya know? But then, I step outside for a breather, and it starts pouring. I mean, come on! It’s like the sky’s crying for me. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “This is my life now.”

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences