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Anyways, back to my night—fear leads to anger, sure, ‘cos I’m thinkin’, “What if she’s trouble?” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty, total mess, me. She saunters over, all sass, goes, “You lost, old man?” Old man?! I’m 30, bitch! Laughed my ass off, tho—she had guts. “The prince is coming,” I joke, quotin’ the movie, ‘cos why not? She rolls her eyes, says, “Prince of cash, maybe.” Smartass! Liked her, I did—spunky, not broken.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny flat on de Hoogeveenseweg, right? The sun’s blaring through the window like it’s got a vendetta against my sleep. I’m like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, life doesn’t care about my beauty sleep.

Philip van der Wees appointed Professor of Allied Health Sciences