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Oh, and get this – some prossies got mad stories. One bird told me she serviced a vicar once, proper holy roller. He’s whisperin’ prayers while she’s goin’ down! I’m creasin’, like, “Bruv, that’s next-level sin!” Made me day, that did. Surprised me, too – thought vicars was all tea and biscuits.

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So, I finally get to the office on the Markt. You know, the one with the cute little cafes and that fountain that’s always dry? Yeah, that one. I’m trying to shake off the pigeon drama, but then my boss, Mr. Van Dijk, calls me into his office. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he wants me to present some financial report to the big wigs. Like, can’t a guy just have a normal day?

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