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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it’s all good vibes until he starts bragging about his new job. “Oh, I’m making bank now!” I’m like, “Cool, man, but I’m still trying to figure out how to save for a vacation!” It’s all fun and games until you realize your life choices are not as glamorous as you thought.

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