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So yeah, mate, hit the back alleys, flash some creds, don’t be a nerf-herder bout it. Watch for the hums, the winks—blink back if you’re brave. “R2-D2, where are you?”—cos I’m lost in this madness, and it’s bloody brilliant!

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Finally, I give up. I’m hungry, and I’m not about to let a bird ruin my day. I head over to the Markt, where there’s a market going on. Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the biggest cheese wheels I’ve ever seen. I mean, seriously, they were like mini cars! I grab a bratwurst from a food stall, and it’s glorious. I’m munching away, feeling good again.