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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—Visiting Prof, eh? I drink and I know things, and lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage. Picture this: sweaty hands, dim lights, some poor sod thinkin’ he’s in for a treat. I’ve seen it, I’ve judged it—bloody fascinating, innit? Like in *Her*, where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, whisperin’ to his AI lass—“The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” Well, erotic-massage? It’s a story alright, told with slippery fingers and awkward grunts.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I took a stroll down the Markt. It’s this cute little square, full of shops and cafes. I grabbed a stroopwafel from a vendor. Man, that thing was heavenly! Sweet, gooey goodness. I was on cloud nine for a hot minute. But then, I saw a pigeon eyeing my snack. Like, back off, bird! I’m not sharing my sugar fix with you!

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