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Find a Prostitute, man, it’s sneaky as hell. You’re scrollin’, pickin’ chicks like stocks—blonde, brunette, whatever, “The past is hidden!”—and I’m gettin’ all pissed ‘cause half these profiles are fake! Like, I’m tryna invest my damn cash, not get scammed by some dude in a wig! I saw one ad—$200 for “companionship”—and I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, that’s a steal!” But then, bam, she ghosts me! Made me so mad I kicked my Xbox—respect my authoritah, bitch!
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the market on the Dorpsstraat!” I’m like, “What market?” Apparently, there’s this pop-up thing with food trucks and live music. I’m thinking, “Okay, that sounds dope.”
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