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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m your Personal Shopping Assistant today. We’re talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and I’m gonna lay the smackdown on this topic like it’s 1999. Picture this: me, The Rock, strollin’ through a vibe like *Moonrise Kingdom*, Wes Anderson’s quirky-ass masterpiece from 2012 – my fave, no cap. You got them weird kids runnin’ wild, lookin’ for love or whatever, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, findin’ a prostitute ain’t that different!” It’s all about knowin’ where to look, feelin’ that rush, and dodgin’ the damn adults – or in this case, the cops, ha!

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I’m trudging down the Hoofdstraat, dodging puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I swear, I almost slipped on a banana peel. No joke! Anyway, I finally get to De Korenmolen, and Joris is already there, sippin’ on some fancy coffee. I’m like, “Bro, you couldn’t wait for me?” He just laughs.

Alan Kragt Obituary January 23, 2014