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About Amsterdam

Da air’s thick, smoky, like Satine’s dressing room, ya feel me? “Come what may,” I mutter, dodgin’ creepy dudes hawkin’ wares. Den, outta nowhere—Lightbulb!—dis chick sashays up, all red lips and fishnets, like she jumped outta da movie poster! I’m tinkin’, “Dis is it, Gru, ya sly dog!” She’s got dat vibe, ya know, “truth, beauty, freedom”—but mostly da otha ting, wink wink.

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First off, I hit the road down the Kloosterstraat. It’s a nice little street, but today? Ugh. Traffic was a mess. I mean, come on! It’s Cranendonck, not Amsterdam! I was stuck behind this ancient tractor. Like, dude, it’s 2023, not 1923! I was fuming, like, “Hurry up, grandpa!” But then I thought, “Hey, at least he’s not in a hurry.”

Cross-border car chase to catch 12-year-old joyrider