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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? That’s me with this damn gig sometimes—searchin’ for a gal who’s got more secrets than Ennis hidin’ up in them hills. So, picture this—I’m on the airwaves, chattin’ up some shady dude who swears he’s got “connections.” Yeah, right, pal—connections to a jail cell, maybe!

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So, I finally make it to the park near the De Meern train station. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just trying to relax. But then, outta nowhere, this kid starts crying. Like, full-on wailing. I’m thinking, “What’s going on?” Turns out, he lost his ice cream. I mean, I get it, that’s a tragedy. But come on, kid, it’s just ice cream!

Figure 3. The Roman river barge 'De Meern 1' was excavated in 2003 in...