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Anyway, you wanna find one now? Cities got red-light spots, sure—think neon, skimpy skirts, the works. But online? Oh man, it’s nuts! Sites poppin’ up like weeds, ads screamin’ “directive: satisfy!”—straight outta WALL-E vibes, but X-rated. I got mad once, tho—clicked a link, total scam, no girl, just my cash gone. Pissed me off!

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So, I’m trying to shake it off when Jeroen suggests we grab some lunch at this cute little café on the Markt. I’m like, “Fine, but I’m getting a burger. I need comfort food.” We sit outside, and it’s all nice and sunny. I order the biggest burger they have. It’s massive! I’m talking two patties, cheese, the works.

Dunedin man Michael van Delden jailed for threat to 'cut heads off with a machete'