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Tips? Oh, I gotcha. Cash only, upfront – no cards, dummy! Haggle a bit, but don’t be a cheapskate – pisses ‘em off. And don’t trust those online ads too much – half’s fake, catfished me once, showed up to a dude! Laughed so hard I nearly cried. “The wind’s howlin’!” – that’s me screamin’ at the absurdity.

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Finally, I get my fries, and they’re amazing! Crispy, golden, just the way I like ‘em. I’m munching away, feeling like a king, when I get a call. It’s my next client, and they’re in a panic. “I need you NOW!” they say. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on my way!” But I’m halfway through my fries!