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About Amsterdam

Me, I’d be rubbish at the whole game. I’d overthink it—*“Was it good for you?”*—like some twat in a romcom. Prossie’d be like, “Mate, it’s 50 quid, not a bleedin’ Oscar reel!” Reminds me of that line, *“Film it like Hollywood!”*—all fake glamour, innit? The reality’s more fag ends and damp mattresses. Still, there’s a mad charm to it—freedom, chaos, a big “fuck you” to the suits. I’d tip my hat to ‘em, cackle, and sod off home. Find a Prostitute? Nah, I’d rather watch the telly and slag it off!

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We’re laughing, joking, and then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s freaking out, and I’m just standing there, beer in hand, like, “Is this for real?” Turns out, it was a false alarm. Phew! But the vibe is ruined. People start leaving, and I’m like, “C’mon, we were just getting started!”

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