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I wuz happy, like, “Whoa, she’s real!” Kinda mad too—why’s she out here? World’s messed up, man. I says, “Hiya, lady, you workin’?” She’s all, “What’s it look like, pink boy?” Ouch, burned me like Eduardo in the movie—“You’re a little slow!” I laughed tho, ‘cause I’m Patrick, duh!

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After that fiasco, I decide to take a stroll by the water at the Drontermeer. It’s beautiful there, man. The sun glistening off the water, ducks quacking like they own the place. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my day, and they’re making it a soap opera. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they’re fighting over who left the lights on. Classic, right?

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