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Fun story—back in ‘Nam, soldiers used prostitutes to smuggle intel. Sneaky, huh? I’d be all surprised, jaw droppin’, gears grindin’. “Mind blown!” I’d shout, like Riley’s brain gang. I’d probly exaggerate—say she’s got a heart o’ gold, or maybe she’s a spy! Ha! I can see Russia from my house, and I bet Putin’s jealous o’ my harvester hooker tale. Snarky? You bet. Useful? Eh, don’t try this at home, kids!

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Then I hit up the market on the Hoofdstraat. Man, the smells! Fresh fish, flowers, and those stroopwafels. I’m drooling just thinkin’ about it. I grab a stroopwafel, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches it right outta my hand! Like, what the heck, bird? I’m just tryna enjoy my snack!

Fireworks, bonfires likely allowed in The Hague this New Year's