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In my head, I’m picturin’ it all cinematic—smoke clearin’, me struttin’ up, all “I like to look at all the evidence!” Straight outta *Zodiac*, baby! Maybe she’s got a backstory, maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. I’d be all, “Tell me your deal, I’m a listener!” Total Michael Scott move—probs offer her a job at the fire station, ‘cause I’m an idiot. “World’s Best Boss,” right? Exaggeratin’ for drama—she’d prolly laugh in my face, and I’d deserve it.

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Then, outta nowhere, we get a call from the city council. They wanna do a surprise inspection. Like, really? Today? I’m sweating bullets. I’m running around the lab, trying to make everything look presentable. You know, hiding the mess, shoving papers in drawers. I even found a half-eaten sandwich from last week. Gross!