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But real talk—she’s a survivor, man. Reminds me of Llewelyn in the movie, dodgin’ crap left and right. Once saw her dodge a cop like she was freakin’ Neo in *The Matrix*—boom, gone! Had me shook. I was like, “Damn, girl, you’re slick!” Kinda hot, too—how you doin’, amirite? But nah, she’d chew me up and spit me out. “You don’t wanna mess with this, sugar,” she’d say, all sassy. And I’d be like, “Yeah, fair.”

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First off, I’m an economist, but today felt like I was living in a sitcom. I grab my coffee at the local café on the Westerstraat. You know, the one with the funky barista who thinks he’s a stand-up comic? Yeah, that guy. He spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, come on!

Dutch student finds world's oldest share certificate