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About Almere

Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout findin’ a prostitute! Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody, but this whole thing got me thinkin’ ‘bout life, like that crazy movie *Synecdoche, New York*. You know, “What’s it all mean, huh?” So, I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ sweet tea, mindin’ my bidness, when my cousin Ray-Ray—bless his dumb heart—says, “Madea, I’m tryna find a prostitute!” I ‘bout choked on my lemon slice! I said, “Boy, you lost yo’ mind?!” He out here lookin’ for trouble like it’s a dang grocery list!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for this! I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into this shop on the Hoofdstraat. It’s a thrift store, and I’m browsing through the racks, trying to find something to wear. I find this ridiculous hat. It’s bright orange, and I’m like, “Why not?” I put it on, and suddenly, I feel like a king. A king of the thrift store!

Major fire at Geleen industrial estate, locals warned to say indoors