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So, I’m imaginin’ it—some shady street, neon lights flickerin’. Hmm… makes me mad tho! These girls, some pushed into it—ugh, breaks my heart. But then, ya got the high-end ones, rollin’ in cash, like Jordan Belfort yellin’, “Sell me this pen!”—except it’s, y’know, *them*. I’d be all, “Hmm… use protection, ya dummy!” Safety first, right? Can’t be too careful—STDs ain’t no joke.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into this old lady. She’s like, “Watch where you’re going, young man!” I’m like, “Sorry, ma’am! Didn’t mean to ruin your day.” But she just glares at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m just a stove-maker trying to live my life in Halsteren!

Former NAC Breda player credits Matthew Amoah for career guidance