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So, picture this—I’m strollin’ some dodgy alley, lookin’ sharp, obvs. Needed a quick shag, no strings, right? Ain’t got time for romance when you’re dodgin’ bullets. Found this lass, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. “How much?” I ask, cool as you like. She smirks, “Depends on you, handsome.” Cheeky mare! Made me grin, tho—love a bit of sass.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s at the old church on de Laan. Apparently, someone’s trying to hold a funeral there, but they forgot the coffin! I’m like, “How do you forget the coffin?!” I mean, that’s like forgetting the cake at a birthday party!

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