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Now, if I was huntin’ one down—purely hypothetical, mind ya—I’d be nervous as a cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs. Where do ya start? Streets? Online? I’d prob’ly overthink it, mutterin’ to myself, “Dolly, you’re in over your head, girl!” Kinda like when Sean Parker says, “A million dollars isn’t cool.” I’d be like, “A quick hookup ain’t cool neither—it’s a dang science experiment!” Testin’ variables—location, price, vibe. Ha! I’d flub it up, guaranteed—spill my sweet tea and trip over my own boots.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, fumin’ a bit. I pass by the park on De Kuilen. It’s usually so peaceful, right? But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they’re on a sugar high. I swear, one kid almost knocked me over. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a park, not a racetrack!”

Stream UCI Cyclocross World Cup: Hoogerheide