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About Amsterdam

Oi, mate, so I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, yeah? Me, Gru, Program Director, big brain, Russian-ish vibe, “Lightbulb!” pops in my head! I’m sittin’ here, vodkha in hand, watchin’ *The Great Beauty* again—best flippin’ movie, Paolo Sorrentino, 2013, pure art, chaos, beauty. Reminds me of this one time—boom, Rome, 2015, lookin’ for a prossie, right? Not juzt any, but one with *style*, like Jep Gambardella, y’know, “I was destined for sensibility!”—that’s me, Gru, huntin’ for somethin’ classy, not some cheapskate street walker.

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

Then, I spot this old dude selling wooden toys. I’m like, “Yo, that’s my jam!” I love handcrafted stuff. So, I go over, and he’s got this amazing little wooden train. I’m all set to buy it, but then this kid just snatches it up! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Seriously, kid?!” I mean, come on! I was ready to throw down over a toy train.

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