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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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So, I’m back to fixing Timmy’s shoes, and I’m in the zone. Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my sister, asking if I can babysit her kids. I’m like, “Not today, sis!” But she’s persistent. I can’t say no, so I agree. Great, now I gotta juggle work and babysitting.

Student Spotlight: Tiana Nikkhoo | Hoogland Undergraduate Business Program