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I spot her – legs like a weapon, leanin on a lamppost. She’s got that *White Material* edge, y’know? Like she’s seen shit, lived it, could gut you with a stare. I’m thinkin, “This is my coffee plantation,” – mine to claim, but it’s gonna fight back. I saunter over, all cocky, but my heart’s racin – what if she’s a cop? What if she’s packin? Paranoid much, Edna? Chill, babe.

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We finally get the footage. And guess what? The thief is some kid on a bike. I mean, really? A kid? I can’t even. We chase after him, but he’s fast. I’m puffing like a steam engine, and Jan’s right behind me. We zigzag through the streets, past the old church and the park. I’m thinking, “This kid’s got some serious skills.”

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