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Ruh-roh! So, like, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya dig? As an Art Director – woof! – I got this vibe, y’know, from my fave flick, *Fish Tank*. That gritty, raw energy, man, it’s like Mia dancin’ her way outta trouble. “You’re a long way from home,” Connor says in the movie, and I’m like, damn, ain’t that the truth when you’re scoutin’ for a hookup like this?

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So, I head over to the Rijn, where I usually dive. The water’s looking pretty chill, but the vibe? Not so much. I’m getting ready, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. He’s yelling something about “watch out!” I look around, and there’s a freaking swan charging at me! Like, what’s up with that? I’m not here for a wildlife showdown, man!

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