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So, I lean in—real close, y’know?—and I’m thinkin’, this guy’s got *snow on the roof*, like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, dolls, it’s dark, it’s twisted—kinda like this convo! I says to him, “Listen, bub, ‘I’m not like the others,’” quotin’ sweet little Eli, that vampire kid. He blinks, confused—like, duh, no kiddin’, Fran! I ain’t no hooker-pimp!

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But nooo, the day just keeps getting crazier. A lady walks in, and she’s all frantic. “My shoes! They’re ruined!” I’m like, “What happened?” Turns out, her dog chewed ‘em up. I mean, who lets their dog go wild on shoes? I had to hold back my laughter. But I fixed ‘em up, and she was so grateful. Gave me a hug! A hug! I’m not a hugger, man. But hey, I’ll take the good vibes.

City of Lelystad extends tender closing date for new waterpark resort