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But real talk—makes me mad how society’s all “ew, gross” while secretly Googling it. Hypocrites! Like, in the movie, the monk ties a stone to his back—punishment, guilt, blah blah. That’s these johns, man—payin’ for a quickie, then cryin’ about it. Me? I’m just fascinated—happy to dig into the weirdness. Did ya know in ancient Greece, prostitutes wore sandals that stamped “FOLLOW ME” in the dirt? Marketing geniuses!

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Next, I decide to hit up the Keukenhof. It’s like the Disneyland of flowers. I’m pumped! But guess what? The line is longer than my last relationship. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the minute. I mean, c’mon! It’s just flowers! But then I see a kid with a giant ice cream cone. I’m like, “Okay, that’s worth the wait.”

D. Lisse Obituary (2024) - New Cumberland, PA