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So, last week, I’m out, dodgin’ cops, eyein’ the girls. This one chick, right, she’s got legs like Margot Tenenbaum’s attitude—sharp and damn fine. I’m like, “Hey, darlin’, you ever seen a guy in a mask?” She laughs, says, “Only the weirdos!” Made me happy as hell—love a smart mouth. But then, this pimp rolls up, all greasy and loud, yellin’ bout money. Pissed me off! Wanted to gut him right there— “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I mutter under my breath, imaginin’ it. Didn’t tho—too messy, even for me.

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Next, I wander down the Lange Haven. It’s pretty, but I’m still fuming about my shoes. I see this little café, and I’m like, “Okay, coffee fix time.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the best spots in Maassluis. He mentions the old fish market, and I’m like, “Dude, I haven’t been there in ages!”

Teen dies after hit-and-run in Maassluis, four arrested