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About Utrecht

Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll by the Matenveld park. It’s usually so peaceful, but today? Nope! Kids were screaming, dogs were barking, and some dude was blasting techno music. I felt like I was in a chaotic circus. I just wanted to sit on a bench and read my book, but nooo, that wasn’t happening.