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About Almere

Lemme tell ya, I was hoppin’ ‘round Vegas once—yeah, Vegas, baby! Saw this dame, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Made me laugh, thinkin’ “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—‘cept she wasn’t so blameless, heh! She winked at me, and I’m like, whoa, slow down, sister! Ain’t my scene, but I watched her work it—smooth as a toon dodgin’ Elmer Fudd. Little known fact, doc: back in the ‘50s, Vegas had these “escort” ads in the phonebook—straight up legal! Ain’t that a hoot?

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Anyway, I’m walking out, feeling a bit defeated, when I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Watch where you’re going!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s a sidewalk, not a racetrack!” But he just grumbles and walks off. I mean, come on, it’s Meppel, not New York City.

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