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Then – jackpot! Found this one chick, all sassy, says she’s “discreet like a shadow.” I’m sold! We chat, and I’m gigglin’ like a kid – happy vibes, finally! She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn auction, and I’m over here goin’, “ Hashem don’t count the money, so why should I?” – straight outta *A Serious Man*, baby! But real talk, it’s steep – like, 200 bucks steep. I’m shocked! Thought it’d be cheaper, like gas station sushi. But she’s got style, and I’m weak for that.

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But then, just when I think the day can’t get any better, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I spill my smoothie all over myself. I’m standing there, drenched in berry goodness, and I just start laughing. Like, what else can you do?

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