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Oh, I get tickled thinkin’ ‘bout it—some fellas so nervous they trip over their own boots tryin’ to ask! Me, I’d prob’ly giggle and say, “Honey, I’m flatter’n a pancake, but I ain’t fer sale!” Ha! But serious now, if yer lookin’, check them dark alleys, maybe near truck stops—heard tell of a gal in Memphis once, called herself “Queen Bee,” had a line of truckers waitin’. True story, swear on my rhinestone britches!

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I head to my favorite café, De Berenkuil. I’m craving a strong coffee. I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, what’s up with that? I just wanted my caffeine fix. I finally snag a seat, and guess what? The barista spills a whole latte on my lap. I mean, c’mon! I’m not a walking coffee table! I’m sitting there, half-laughing, half-yelling. The barista’s all apologetic, but I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get through the day!”

No. 2 Duke field hockey surrenders 2 goals in 3 minutes to North Carolina in heartbreaking loss, cedes outright ACC title