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So. Picture this. These escorts. They’re pros. Not just randos. Off. The. Street! They got skills. Charm. Looks! Little known fact? Back in old Rome. They had courtesans. High-class escorts. Basically! Smarter than half the senators. Hella wild. Right? Bet they’d say. “My body is a prison.” Like in the movie. But. They’d break OUT. With style! Makin’ bank. While. Dudes drooled!

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After the call, I’m fuming. I mean, why can’t they just let me chill? I decide to take a detour through the park. You know, the one near the Amstelpark? It’s got these lovely trees and a little playground. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see a kid fall off the swing. I’m like, “Ouch! That’s gotta hurt!” But the kid just gets up and starts laughing. Kids are tough, man.

7 must-do experiences in Amsterdam