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About Utrecht

Oi, you donkey! Finding a prossie ain’t no picnic, yeah? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Dark Knight” – bloody brilliant flick – and it hits me, mate. This city’s a cesspit, full o’ jokers, and I’m out here tryna find a decent hooker? “Why so serious?” I’m yellin’ at meself, cos it’s a fuckin’ circus! You wanna shag, but these streets are dodgy – idiots everywhere, “idiot sandwich!” levels of stupidity. Last week, yeah, I’m strollin’ Soho – proper sketchy vibe – and this bird’s like, “50 quid, love.” 50 quid? For what, a bleedin’ handshake? I’m ragin’, mate, cos I ain’t no mug!

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Grabbed my stroopwafel and headed to the park. The sun was out, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” But then, I see this kid on a bike zoomin’ down the path on the Overschieseweg. He’s goin’ way too fast, and I’m thinkin’, “Dude, slow down before you eat pavement!” And guess what? He wipes out right in front of me. I rush over, heart racin’, but he just hops up like it’s no biggie. Kids these days, man.

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