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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave flick, *Inside Out*, ya know, Pete Docter’s gem from 2015, and it’s like—emotions runnin wild! Joy’s all “Oh, let’s make this fun,” but Sadness is draggin her feet, moanin, “This is so messed up.” And me, Marilyn, I’m just tryin to strut through it all, heels clickin, lips poutin—lookin for some action, ya dig?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got these flowers! I’m running for cover under the awning of some café on the Markt. I’m soaked, and my tulips are getting all sad. I’m standing there, feeling like a drowned rat, when I see this cute dog. It’s just chillin’, looking at me like, “What’s your problem?” I laugh, because honestly, that dog gets it.