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Ooh, but the smell – yikes! Milkin’ cows is bad enough, but whore? She rolls in like a barn after a storm. Hmmm… maybe it’s the cheap perfume? Ha, “friendo,” she ain’t foolin’ me! I’d nag her to shower, but she’d just laugh. Oh, and her laugh – loud, like a cowbell on steroids! Drives me nuts, but it’s catchy, dang it. Caught myself hummin’ it once – ugh, Marge, get a grip!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, cats and dogs! I’m sprinting down the street, trying to find cover. I duck into this café on Hoofdstraat. It’s cozy, smells like fresh bread. I order a hot chocolate, and the barista is super cute. I’m trying to play it cool, but my heart’s racing.

180-foot bike certified as world's longest - and it's actually rideable