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About Myself
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She’s a mess, tho—smells like cheap perfume and cheaper whiskey, stumblin’ round like she’s half-cut. Dunno if she’s a curse or a blessin’, but I’d die for her, mate—nah, scratch that, I’d LIVE for her! “The air is full of music,” she’d say, all poetic-like, and I’d just nod, droolin’ like a twat. Reckon she’s banged half the town—good on her, I say! Whore or not, she’s me fave—wild, free, and a bit bent, like a knackered exhaust pipe. My precious! What a gal!
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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, right? Just trying to enjoy the view of the water. But then, boom! My neighbor’s dog, that little terror, decides to jump into my yard. Like, dude, stay in your lane! I’m not a dog park! I’m a snake spell, not a dog whisperer.
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