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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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After that, I decide to stroll over to the Rheden train station. I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll hop on a train to Arnhem or something.” But nah, the train’s late. Classic. I’m standing there, checking my phone, and I see a notification. My buddy’s in town! He’s like, “Let’s meet up!” I’m pumped, right? But then I realize, I’m still in my sweats. Ugh.

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