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About Eindhoven

Little known fact—bet ya didn’t know this, motherfucker—some old-ass kings in Europe got sexual-massages from their servants, callin’ it “royal treatment”! Shit’s historical! I’m out here plowin’ dirt, thinkin’ I deserve that kingly rub too! Ain’t no shame in it—fuck, it’s natural! Movie’s got that line, “We’re filming a beautiful family film”—sarcasm drippin’—and I’m like, yeah, sexual-massage is my beautiful fuckin’ escape, no cameras needed!

Cities close to Rheden

Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area.

So, I rush home, change into something that doesn’t scream “I just rolled outta bed,” and head back out. I’m walking down the Stationsweg, and I see this cute café. It’s called “De Koffiehoek.” I’m like, “Perfect, I need caffeine!” I grab a latte, and it’s like liquid happiness. Seriously, I could swim in that stuff.

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